QYB

It’s like two days past Valentine’s Day but I don’t care. Valentine’s Day sucks sometimes especially when you’re 13 and gay and no one wants to date you. Anyway, a few months ago I was at J crew because I don’t know where else to shop for clothes, I went to the men’s section and picked out a couple flannels and went to the dressing room. When I came out to show my mom (yes I went shopping with my mom, I’m gay and I don’t have a girlfriend so who else would I shop with) a lady came into the dressing room area and said “oh sorry is this the men’s dressing room?” She thought I was a guy when I was wearing that flannel. I bought it immediately. Ok, Um, yeah this wasn’t about Valentine’s Day really so that’s nice but it’s Sunday and I only woke up an hour ago so I’m just done with being productive today.

So. This gonna be some heavy shit. Some of my friends have homophobic/ not accepting parents and if / when they find out I have a blog they’re going to say something about me writing about them on this blog that no one looks at. Some parents are pieces of shit. But I’m going to write about me, because it’s my blog and I don’t care. (I care.) So I’m going to see my extended family this summer, which is great, I like my cousins but my grandparents and aunts and uncles can be difficult. They are conservatives, and are kinda- well they’re just interesting. It was apparently decided that I shouldn’t come out to them by my parents and I. So, my extended family will have to figure it out for themselves. It shouldn’t be to hard for them to figure it out. I am extremely gay. One time my dad was on the phone with them and they asked if I had a boyfriend, now, they didn’t know that I could hear them, and I laughed out loud, like, guttural laugh. It made my mom laugh a little bit. And grandma will never know why. Unless she figures it out, which, like I said, will be easy.

So dysphoria is this thing where you feel weird because you don’t identify with your biological sex. Honestly, I wouldn’t look it up online, it doesn’t explain it very well. I’ve been feeling a bit of it lately, really sucks. You feel like your body isn’t right. Sometimes I’ll paint my nails to only take it off the next day because it feels so strange to have it on. It’s confusing. If you really want to understand it read Symptoms of being human. Great book. I also cried when I read it. Honestly one of the reasons I like it. I have issues. Ok I’m done talking about this and making myself more sad than I already am. I just ate a whole tub of ice cream. I have issues. So, here are some shows with subtle gay sh*t in them: Supergirl, Sesame Street ( yes, Bert and Earnie are a couple. This is a fact. ) Steven Universe ( not so subtle ) ok I’m done, it’s 8:30 on a Friday. I want to sleep. I have issues.

This morning I was asked by one of my friends whether or not I was pansexual. I told them that I’m queer and, yes, that I am attracted to all genders. They then stopped texting me. I texted back, “can I ask what this information is for” and they proceeded to ask me if I was attracted to cast iron pans. I found out that they asked this question to all of my queer friends.

This is weird, the first post of my first blog. So, uh, hi. I’m queer. Most people look at me weird when I make gay jokes and share gay stories, so I’ll do that here. I’ll also probably talk about some heavy sh*t, so, yeah.